so i re-met my neighbor the other day. and it was an extremely refreshing experience. we drank tea. out of a kettle. note to self: buy tea kettle. and almond milk.
this mostly pleasant experience was a little uncomfortable when he exclaimed, “i must take your photo! i take a photo of all my visitors.” creepy and i hate photos! fought one another on winner of initial reaction. i hate photos won, after i quickly reminded myself that he’s a photographer, on the side anyway.
believe it or not, i hate having my photo taken. no, seriously. hate it. yes, queen-of-attention hates having a camera in her face. believe it. i think it’s the lack of control. anyway. my teeth have become [even more] crooked over the years. (for those of you who know me, you’ll notice the swap from open-mouth to closed, which is also due, in part, to the extent at which open-mouthed smiling draws even more attention to the next few self-deprecating critiques) i have crows feet around my eyeballs and smile lines at my mouth. my nose holes make my face extremely unsymmetrical and my cheeks are huge. altogether i do not dig the experience. nor the result.
needless to say, i was a TERRIBLE sport about the whole ordeal. alternating between putting my hands and the record, which i was holding beneath my chin to get the lighting right (yes, it was that serious) in front of my face and going on and on about how uncomfortable i was. i am sure i was sweating, too. no. i know i was sweating.
the photo turned out pretty well. granted, everyone looks good in b&w, but still. if i wrote a book and it got published by the end-of-year, i’d probably attach this with my author q&a email.
lesson learned, and as pops would say, stop being so hard on yourself, johna. and relax. you’ve got to learn to relax.
It’s hard to look at this and not wonder how much more the human eye is missing out on. How much more of our human experience is flying by us unseen, waiting to be noticed. Waiting to be captured by our hearts. Myself doesn’t know much…only that I don’t want it all to pass me by.
Life get’s in the way. People lose jobs, get new ones; fall in love, get hurt; get busy, fall out of touch. It’s part of being an adult, part of chasing your myth. Yesterday I saw Alexis for the first time in too long and for a minute or two we walked through the park and did not speak to each other. Children teddle-toddled down paths too quickly and dogs yawned next to reading owners, light leaked trough leaves like they were coffee filters and she leaned over and said, “See, this is what it’s like to slow down”. In that moment it felt nice, it felt right.