books of business, metrics and keeping it succint.
it’s self-appraisal day at work (okay, today is the DUE date for self-appraisals) and of course i waited until today. anyway, days like today i cannot help but think of joel and the terms and advice he used to banter around. like how i should keep a “book of business” to track high-level accomplishments (yes, that’d be helpful right about now) and how important “metrics” are (yep. that’d also be good to have in a better and more succinct (another joel term) form). let me be clear: under no uncertain terms would i like us to still be together, but it’s hard (once getting past this shitty and very unhealthy parts) to argue against what a damn good team we were. we could get shit done. so anyway. point of this? a few things. 1. i selfishly wish i had him (or someone like him) around for just a few days who could help me with these “metrics”. 2. and more importantly, i hope he has this. i hope some days there is something. even a little something. something that he engages in and thinks about me, like i occasionally think about him: positively. i tend to doubt it, seeing how it all panned out. but i guess if nothing else he probably thinks at least i learned to never date a crazy bitch like her again. hey. better than nothing!
![johna louise picco. age 25.
so i re-met my neighbor the other day. and it was an extremely refreshing experience. we drank tea. out of a kettle. note to self: buy tea kettle. and almond milk.
this mostly pleasant experience was a little uncomfortable when he exclaimed, “i must take your photo! i take a photo of all my visitors.” creepy and i hate photos! fought one another on winner of initial reaction. i hate photos won, after i quickly reminded myself that he’s a photographer, on the side anyway.
believe it or not, i hate having my photo taken. no, seriously. hate it. yes, queen-of-attention hates having a camera in her face. believe it. i think it’s the lack of control. anyway. my teeth have become [even more] crooked over the years. (for those of you who know me, you’ll notice the swap from open-mouth to closed, which is also due, in part, to the extent at which open-mouthed smiling draws even more attention to the next few self-deprecating critiques) i have crows feet around my eyeballs and smile lines at my mouth. my nose holes make my face extremely unsymmetrical and my cheeks are huge. altogether i do not dig the experience. nor the result.
needless to say, i was a TERRIBLE sport about the whole ordeal. alternating between putting my hands and the record, which i was holding beneath my chin to get the lighting right (yes, it was that serious) in front of my face and going on and on about how uncomfortable i was. i am sure i was sweating, too. no. i know i was sweating.
the photo turned out pretty well. granted, everyone looks good in b&w, but still. if i wrote a book and it got published by the end-of-year, i’d probably attach this with my author q&a email.
lesson learned, and as pops would say, stop being so hard on yourself, johna. and relax. you’ve got to learn to relax.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luo0q3h5GA1qgy7jyo1_400.jpg)
